Individual Counselling/ Coaching/ Mentoring

Counselling for Men
"Me? I don't need help. I'll make things work somehow."

Many men have been raised in families with one set of values and find that they are now living in a social environment with different values. Changes in the role of women in society and in the family have had an impact on the role of men as well. Yet, while there have been a variety of educational and social support measures supporting women during this transition, there have been fewer educational and social support measures for men. This has resulted in a gender gap with respect to adjusting to these social changes.

Also, some men tend to be reluctant to seek help for personal issues. They may feel that seeking help is a sign of weakness. Some men may feel vulnerable to share about their inner self. In reality, it takes wisdom, courage and strength of character to recognize the need for help in transitioning from our understanding of the male role as modeled by our fathers, to one that supports our life and family in our present world.

If you want help to understand your changing environment or want better personal skills to function in this changing social order, perhaps counselling can help. For more information or to request a counselling appointment call Ed at (403) 835-3115.

Re-tooling when life sucks
"I'm just really tired of the way my life is going right now. I need a change badly."

There are times when a person can become overwhelmed by the experiences in life. Perhaps you have been overlooked for a promotion in your workplace, or your family relationships are experiencing difficulty, or you feel lonely, abandoned, or abused. You feel that you are in a fix and don't have any control over the situation to make it better.

At times it may be helpful to simply wait out the problem situation. Other situations may be resolved with the help and support of our community. Professional support may help in other situations. Developing a new skill or learning a new way to respond to situations may make a real difference in how these difficult experiences in life affect us. New skills may turn a difficult situation into an opportunity for growth. Learn how to regain control of a bigger percentage of life experiences.

If you want more information or want to make a counselling appointment, call Ed at (403) 835-3115.

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Understanding and refocusing anger
"C'mon man, life works better when anger does not get out of control!"

Do you or someone close to you have an anger problem? Anger can be a very abusive, hurtful way to respond in a relationship. Frequently anger is a way to keep others from accessing a vulnerable part of our lives. In its extreme it perpetrates violence against others, frequently those we care about most. Anger is a legitimate emotion that may cause harm when inappropriately expressed. There is help.

Learn about appropriate anger. Identify the way you express anger and about the benefits and deficits of your expression of anger toward those around you. Develop new strategies for restoring healthy expressions toward those who are near and dear. If you feel a need for some additional help in developing new and different personal skills please call (403) 835-3115.

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Healing after abuse
"I never want anyone to know what happened to me"

Sadly, abuse is impacting families and persons in increasing measure. The scope of abuse is staggering: physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, psychological abuse, spiritual abuse, elder abuse…. Its victims are children, women, men, persons of all ages, seniors, minorities, rich and poor…. Abusers use guilt, fear, manipulation, intimidation, violence…. The abused experience shame, pain, confusion, anger, an erosion of self -value…. Perhaps you have identified with something written above in this one short paragraph

The effects of your abuse go deep and can last a long time. The way you coped in earlier years may have worked for a while, but do not seem to be working as well at this time. There is hope. If you think you may be the cause of abuse why not seek help. If you are trying to cover the effects of abuse in your life or in your family, there is hope and help. The abuse you experienced is not your fault. Seek healing. Find freedom, even after abuse. If you feel a need for healing from abuse or need help in developing new and different personal skills that will lead to freedom, please call Ed at (403) 835-3115 for an appointment.

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Breaking free from addiction
"I cannot go on like this. I have so much to live for. I must change but can't."

We don't set out to become addicted. Perhaps just one drink, one pill, one coin in the VLT, or one fling. Maybe it's the feeling we got from it, or the reward, or the social experience while we did it, or the rush. Maybe it just relieved us of the stress, or pain, helped us to forget our troubles for just a moment. Given the initial pleasure experienced it became easier to go back to the well. Later, the need to continue seemed stronger that the pleasure we experienced at the beginning. At some point we discovered that the behavior now seemed to become a driving force and our willpower to resist no longer worked to protect us. Addictive behavior may be very destructive to our personal, physical, emotional, financial, spiritual, or relational health.

There is help. There is hope. If you think that you may be affected by a behavior pattern that is interfering in your relationships or with your work, or if you or your family are affected by an addictive behavior pattern in a family member, counselling may help.

For more information or to make an appointment please call Ed at (403) 835-3115.

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Internet Pornography, Infidelity and other Sexually Addictive Behaviors
"Sure I look at porn—a little—it’s no big deal is it?"

Pornography is a significant contributor to marital breakdown. About 50% of men and 25% of women experience problems with pornography. Contrary to what users may think, getting free of sexually addictive practices requires a strong will to be free and persistent choosing of sexually appropriate alternatives. But how can an addicted mind now suddenly choose appropriate alternatives? Because sexually addictive behaviors usually occur in secret and isolation, openness or truth telling and community are important for healing. Counselling and recovery programs may provide helpful resources for recovery.

Spouses frequently suspect their husband’s porn use even when they do not have direct evidence. This is very difficult for them because they want to trust and they want to believe that their husband is telling them the truth. Lying is a significant issue for persons sexually addicted. While there is no fool proof way of knowing for certain, unexplained time, late night computer or TV use, defensiveness when confronted, isolation, anger or stress, may be some indicators that a problem exists. Checking internet history may provide some evidence.

After more than 10 years of working with persons experiencing sexually addictive behaviors, their spouses, and their relationship, I can assure you that healing for the husband, wife, and the relationship is possible. I said possible—not necessarily easy. If you are not sure whether this is an issue for you or your spouse take a few minutes to reflect on the following points:

  • Are you preoccupied with sexual thoughts or lust?
  • Do you regularly view sexually explicit magazines, TV, movies, or Internet sites?
  • Have you tried to stop or limit sexual behavior with limited or no success?
  • Have you had to increase your sexual activity to maintain former levels of enjoyment?
  • Have you ever worried about people finding out about your sexual behavior?
  • Have you ever lied about your sexual activities?

If any of these statements are true for you, seek help. Freedom is possible. Call now for an appointment and get help. Please call Ed at (403) 835-3115.

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Redirecting stress energy to positive growth
"You mean there is such a thing as healthy stress? Show me!"

Humans have been given an amazing capacity to handle stress. Why is it then that at times we are able to handle stress and at other times we don't? What makes the difference? Well, what are we thinking about when under extreme stress? Frequently it is about the circumstance that is giving rise to our stress. What we focus on plays a significant role in our ability to handle stress. Restoring hope may be a catalyst in reviving our ability to handle stress and also to redirect the energy consumed by stress into positive growth.

Sharing with other persons during difficult times may provide us with the supportive environment we need to redirect stress energy. A counsellor may help us develop the tools and strategy to redirect stress energy into positive growth. If you want more information or would like to make a counselling appointment, give Ed a call at (403) 835-3115.

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Renewal after grief and loss
"Nobody can ever know how (alone, violated, isolated…) I feel since I lost (my spouse, my job, my health, my dreams)."

Experiencing loss at some time in our life is inevitable. Loss may include the loss of relationship (death, divorce, separation), of material (fire, theft, bankruptcy), of function (sickness, aging, health), of role (unemployment, identity change through loss of a spouse), or of symbolic significance (hopes & dreams).

Grieving is our internal response to the loss. It is a necessary and important process to help us move from the disorientation that we feel to a new orientation in our life experience. During our grief journey we may experience different emotions at different times. Our grief-work will take us through different stages of reorientation. There are grief support groups available that are designed to assist persons to move through the grief-work process in a supportive environment. Counselling may also help persons to understand their own grieving experience and develop skills and tools that can help. If you want more information or would like to make a counselling appointment, call Ed at (403) 835-3115.

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Managing change
"I am getting tired of all the changes happening around me. Just give me something that will not change, a place of stability for even a little while"

The information age is exponentially accelerating change. The nature of our job is changing even though we do not change jobs. Our society is being changed by our consciousness of global community. Values we learned at home are being challenged. Other changes like changes in family structure, income, relationships, or health can have a significant impact on us. How can we cope with it all? Where in all this change can we find stable ground as a base of operation?

If you are feeling overwhelmed by change and want help in finding a way to cope with the effects of change in your life or the life of your family, perhaps counselling may be of help. Learn how to establish a strong center from which you can manage the change that is impacting your life. For more information or for a counselling appointment call Ed at (403) 835-3115.

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